Fear, misguided or properly placed?

We are in route to Africa and lots of thoughts run through our minds. What will the mosquitoes be like with all the concerns for malaria? Did we bring enough money? Will we have the appropriate type of clothing? Will rice and beans sustain us for 3 months? How will living with 8 other people affect our marriage?

Hours could be spent in anxiety over such thoughts and fear could easily be triggered if we allowed it, but we know the Lord has a great lesson in store for us. I am reminded of my first summer at JH Ranch in 2003 when I stepped out of my comfort zone.

I had been trying to intern on Wall Street when the Lord redirected my steps to JH. I signed up to volunteer in the kitchen because I had physical limitations due to having brain surgery a few years prior in 2000.

I had tingling sensations (like hitting your funny bone) that ran down the left side of my body when I did anything strenuous due to my birth defect, Chiari Malformation, that led to the brain surgery. During my interview for JH they told me that females worked in the kitchen positions that I had signed up for, and after prayerful consideration, the guy’s recruiter offered me a position to be in maintenance (eventually the garbage man).

I did not know what to do. I knew I was supposed to be at JH that summer because I had felt the impression from the Lord. However, I also knew how my body would react to the physical activity. I agreed to attempt the work, trusting that the Lord had called me to JH. The first day while walking around the property of JH Ranch, I could fee the tingling sensation all down the left hand side of my body.

“Lord, what are you doing? Surely, you are not asking me to do something that will cause me to have brain surgery again. Lord, brain surgery is not fun. What am I going to do? Lord, I am trusting You that everything is going to be alright.”

Later that day, I was given my first assignment. I was given a pick ax and told to dig a trench. “Lord, what are you thinking?” I began to dig the trench and within seconds my tingling sensations went away and did not return all summer. I served on maintenance, lifting heavy items and working strenuously with no health problems at all.

Through this miraculous disappearance of my condition’s side effects, God revealed to me His faithfulness, and removed me from my shackles of fear. He no longer wanted me to live in fear and paranoia, always wondering every time a tingling sensation occurred wondering if I would need brain surgery again. He wanted me to place my trust in Him. And as a result of this trust in Him, I had the most amazing summer of my life, launching me for an incredible adventure over the last 7 years that have been amazing beyond words.

This one faith lesson taught me so much about the heart of God, and now I seem to be learning it again in a new dimension as we head to Africa. We have nothing to fear, only to trust, trust in Him. He loves us and no longer wants us to be shackled by the worries of this world but to have complete trust in Him. He has a good plan. He is a good God and He is in a good mood. Discouragement only remains when we look at our problems without God as our solution.